As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
