How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
