I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
