He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
