I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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