You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
