At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
