she was so not down for the gang bang
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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