i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
