I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize