SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
