you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
