He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
