Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize