im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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