Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't turn off my feet"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize