And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
