so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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