Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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