The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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