Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
