she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
