Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
