Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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