new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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