AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
