Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
