Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
