He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
