i think my mom watched the whole time
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
