This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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