Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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