I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
