HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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