he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
did i walk over a car last night?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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