He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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