i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Duck Duck Cougar?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
