Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
