apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He passed out mid-signature
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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