I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
