just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
