If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
