well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There's always time for handjobs
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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