I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
