I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
