Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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