had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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