so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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