Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
