Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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