no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
