So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
