My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
