the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
