omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize