What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
