Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can text with my tongue
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
