i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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