Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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