so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Randomize
