I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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