and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
