I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
