I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
