white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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