yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
