do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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