so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
