just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
actually, I'm a sock model
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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