Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
