We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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