Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
