Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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